Terrible two's, potty training, finding an apartment, Irritability, mourning the loss of a loved one, yardwork, packing, getting everything ready for new baby, coming to the realization that I am having another baby, planning a shower, making time to play with Audrey and making time for Brandon, housework, work. Stressing out because the house is not as scratch free, stain free as it was when Brandon's parent's left and how can I fix all of that? Worrying about family members. Am I a good enough mother, wife, friend???? Yes, sounds a bit depressing and yes...I am feeling a little overwhelmed lately. *Sigh* I will be fine though. I have been having a hard time with everything that is going on in my life right now. From, my brother Tylers passing, (coming up on one year), and knowing that the only people that will truly understand what it is like to lose a loved one are those that have gone through the same thing or who were there to witness the miracle he was and saw the things he went through before he died. Otherwise you feel like you are being a baby about it when you cry because you miss him or you cry when you hear a song that reminds you of him or see something that reminds you of him. I feel like there are people out there who think that I need to get over it and move on with my life---which I have, but it is always going to be so hard. It's between that and having the hardest time deciding on an apartment and trying to find the best deal on one, to worrying about my family members, to deciding what to do about this whole potty training thing with Audrey, among many other things that have been overwhelming me lately. I feel like people are thinking I am really stupid for not potty training her before the baby comes, but I just feel so overwhelmed right now and I have a lot going on that I feel like I don't have enough time to dedicate to her and potty training her. . I know it will get worse after the baby comes, but I also worry that when the baby does come that she will just go downhill with the potty training thing. I just hear that happens a lot with little kids. Some people just don't understand how hard it is to potty train. It's especially hard because Audrey likes to do things on her own time. But, we are slowly getting her back to actually sitting on the potty. So, that's a start I guess.Some people are lucky and their children will just potty train real easy and they won't have a problem. I am just feeling pressured to potty train her before the baby comes and it is stressing me out. I also don't want to discourage all of you soon to be Mom's out there or Mom's who haven't gone through this yet. I know it will get easier and every child is different. I always told myself when Audrey was a baby that I would never get mad and lose my temper with her. Well, so much for that promise to myself. I try so hard each and every day to be so patient with her, I really really do, but when she does not listen AT ALL, after the 10th time (literally) of asking her nicely and she still doesn't listen, then it gets a bit frustrating. I know this is normal, but it's so hard. It's sad when you watch your daugther get so angry knowing that she learned that anger from you. All I can do is try to be better and more patient each day. That's all I can do right now. I know I am not the greatest mom out there, but all I can do is try to be better and more patient. I feel like I don't want to try because sometimes I feel like it won't help because the damage has already been done. But, I am going to try a little bit harder to be a little bit better. Last but not least, I just want to say that I really love Brandon! He is such a great husband and helps me out so much and is so patient with me. Thanks Brandon! Anyways, thanks for listening.... I am sorry, but sometimes I feel better when I can write about my thoughts and get advice from people. Thank you!