Tuesday, August 4, 2009
No Motivation
So, I probably shouldn't share this with the whole world, but I am going to anyways. So, ever since I was able to quit my job with RE/MAX Masters before I had Audrey, I have really lost pretty much most of my motivation to do anything. I just figured that now that I had Audrey, now is my time to enjoy not working and to just be lazy and take care of Audrey. I thought I deserved having some time off. Well, I took advantage of it and ended up falling out of the habit of doing my regular chores and other life responsibilities. At the same time though, babies are a lot of work. Audrey was a lot of work and still can be and sometimes I feel like all my time is taken up to take care of her and her needs. That is another reason I decided to get this part time job, is because I really really needed to get motivated again. It's been really hard for me. It's really hard to get back into the groove of things. It's hard because I want to get motivated but I don't. I have a hard time just doing it. Most people would call this laziness. :) But, now that I am working, I feel a little bit more motivated but now I don't have as much free time and when I do have that free time I feel exhausted from working and taking care of Audrey, so therefore I want to just sit and relax and sometimes do fun stuff instead of cleaning, cooking, etc. I have learned something through all of this though, that working really is a great thing. I really think me working with RE/Max was a blessing in disguise. It kept me extremely busy and oddly enough, most of the time I came home and still had energy to clean the house and do my other responsibilities. I don't know how that worked but it did.
So anyways, it scares me to have more children. I am afraid that I won't have any more free time with more children and so then it makes me want to be even more lazy right now. I want to take advantage of all this free time I have now and enjoy it while it lasts.
I am so confused by myself. Seriously, why do I have to think complicated?? Brandon would for sure agree with this.
Anyways, if anybody has any suggestions on how to get motivated again let me know. I think I want to be that way again!!! I just don't want to make myself too busy where I will feel overwhelmed. Oh man, good luck giving me advice!!! :)
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9 comments:
hello.
So I a stuck like that...but with church.
Overall , i think once you have children is normal to feel like that , because life rotates for them . I think that maybe you should take it slow and slowly go back in to your old routine . Add little chores here and there . its like a diet .. kinda ... if you push yourself with all at first its most likely you will quit. So start changing small habits that will help in the long run.
About having another child , i cant say much since i don't have kids. But i think that once you have ur 2, 3rd and so on. You are more experienced with the baby thing , and at first it might throw you off a bit , but you should have the baby work around the schedule that you have established already . Of course that wont be perfect but it will work. Plus moms are always blessed , and they manage to handle it .
sorry didnt mean to write a novel lol.
Oh sweet Lisa...you are not alone. I had a really hard time adjusting from working to children. Work defines who you are...it helps you feel important. This may not make you feel better but no matter how many children you have the motivation will come and go and the same feelings surface. It is true the more children you have the less time you have. You lose a sense of yourself becoming a full time mom and the trick is finding what works for you. I found myself just sitting around doing nothing and felt even worse about myself. My saving grace with my first kiddo was wonderful women around me. At first I would turn down any opportunity to do things and I really had to force myself to get out there. This was especially hard because I didn't know anyone. After getting over myself(this was me, no offense), I would try to suck all the knowledge I could out of them learning new things, new hobbies and made some life long friendships because of it. Also, as much as I hate to admit my husband is right he wanted me to make a schedule and go by it. If I had something to look forward to it was easier to know what I had to get done during the day even if it was library day. He also encouraged me to take a quilting class which really motivated me. I don't know,being a mother is just emotionally draining.
One last thing...this may sound stupid but Macey kind of threw me for a loop along with family things and I had no desire to do anything. Pray everyday to have the motivation to experience the day. It won't come right away but you'll be amazed how much it helps once you look back. Every day is a gift and it's a day you can't get back so it's important to make the most of it.
Sorry I wrote a novel too. Just know that you're not alone.
I've felt the same way since I had Jack. I've heard women say that with each child they have to "find" themselves again. Being at home all the time can wear on you, and when you start to feel unhappy you start to lose motivation, even if you don't think you're unhappy. I've felt this way a lot since I had Jack. I didn't realize until I went to visit my family for a week and came back that I really needed that umph to give me back my motivation. I started walking every morning, the house was clean, I made a great dinner every night and packed lunches for my husband. It's not always like this, but I really feel the happiest when I'm accomplishing a lot...which isn't really even half of the time unfortunately.
My advice is to pick up a new hobby, find something that you enjoy. I've started cooking things I would never have cooked before-I like to cook though. It's good to take time for yourself too, I think we need that extra boost as moms sometimes. Also I find if I take the tv, and the computer away all day I get A LOT more done.
I keep telling myself that with the next child I'll have even more motivation to get everything done...yeah I don't think that's going to happen. Oh lists help for me too. I find if I make a list in the morning I get a lot more done too. Ok that's enough feedback, I hope it helps a little bit. Just know you're not the only one. I think all mom's feel this way at one point.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I often think I am not keeping up with worldly things because I am stuck inside of a world of no thinking and bringing myself onto a level of a 3 year old.
I too would like to work again just to have that motivation back, but at the same time would not be happy with someone else watching my kids. I think it is great that you can work from home. That is something you can do when you only have 1 kid.
Just know you are not the only one feeling this way.
Like everyone else said already, I think we all go through this with kids. I don't think it matters how many you have, it is just a cycle. I find that having friends who are stay at home moms that understand and I can just feel like Brooke around and not Mommy really helps me. I also started walking and it makes me feel better about myself. I am not going to claim that I don't look around my house and think that I accomplished nothing in the day, but I have more days that I feel like I was productive and felt good about what I did. I also stopped watching t.v. during the kids naptime. That was my down time, my lazy time and I always felt like I was scrambling to get things done after they woke up that I could have just done while they were asleep but chose not to and that was taking time away from them and making me cranky to be around. I think most of us could cut ourselves a little bit of slack most of the time, and realize that our other stay at home moms are sitting at home feeling the same way. I know I feel so unappreciated because in a job setting you get bonuses, raises, praise from your boss. Now I get complaints and whining and screaming, I feel like I can't so anything right. All I know is it is hard, and it is a relief to know most of us feel the same way at some point or another.
I know you don't really know me, but I don't live too far from you I don't think, so if you are looking for another mom to hang out with let me know.
So I am not a mom yet, so you may be having this conversation with me soon! But I have kind of thought about what will happen. One small thought first--soon enough your kids will be in school and then you might have more Lisa time...but until then, I find that when I wake up early (not crazy early, just earlier) then I have more energy in the morning if I shower and get going. I am much more productive the first half of the day as opposed to the second half. The only thing is I know that strategy does not work for you because you work so late! so...so much for being helpful eh! :)Ps I do know Brooke and you would really get along well with her!
Wow!!!!!Thank you to all of you for your comments!!! They really have helped me a lot. It makes me feel soo much better that I am not the only one feeling this way. Really. I was beginning to wonder. So, thank you again!!! I will take what each of you have said and apply it in some way.
Hey Girl!
I happened to notice the time you posted and it's definitely bugging you to feel this way. I can tell you from having a new little one that it all works out. It's definitely taken some time to get the multiple kid thing down, but don't be afraid. The Lord said that families are important. He wouldn't give them to us if we couldn't handle it. Don't try to do everything in one day. Do the top two or three chores that need to get done that day first thing. Set a goal on what time you want to be done, and be realistic. Then get creative with something you want to do. Let Audrey help you pick because the little ones are usually excited and will push you to get done with the essentials so you can have fun. Audrey's always so good and saying, "mommy, park" or "mommy, swimming" and I have to say "we will when I get the dishes done". The dishes get done because she is my motivator. I don't know what I'd do without the kids. I'm really really unmotivated without them. It's easier for me to do stuff for someone else than for the well being of the house or me. Of course this is advice, maybe not the greatest, but definitely what I'm trying to do because we are so in the same boat!!! :)
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